


Alternate Oddities

by cat_77



Series: Gate Ministry [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 05:27:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat_77/pseuds/cat_77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate universe paid them a visit, but really, some things never change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alternate Oddities

**Author's Note:**

> Let’s just preface this fic with an acknowledgment that yes, it’s a genderbender fic.  I wrote it for a challenge over at the sga_genderfuck community.  The challenge was the switch one or more characters’ gender, and then femslash them.  I had fun.  I have no idea if anyone else will enjoy this, but it was a hell of a lot of fun to write.
> 
> * * *

“Well, that was certainly odd,” McKay said, not even waiting until their guests had disappeared fully through the wormhole.  
   
“Alternate universes usually are,” Sheppard shrugged in response, watching the flickering light dissipate.  Their alternate selves still needed to finish programming the device, but thought it best no one from this universe was within range in case something went horribly wrong and/or sucked them in as well.  Seeing how one universe already seemed out to get them, they decided they really did not need to try their luck with two, and stayed back on Atlantis.  
   
The scientist was not buying the flippant attitude, waving an annoyed hand.  “I’ve heard about alternate universes, read about them from the people who actually experienced them, but this... this surpasses everything.”  
   
“What?  You just can’t stand the thought of you with a dick between your legs, can you?” the colonel could not resist the jab, smiling at the look of outrage it produced.  
   
“As a matter of fact, no, really I can’t,” Meredith admitted, wrinkling her nose and tossing a wayward curl over her shoulder.  Her hair was pulled back with a barrette but, as always, many of the strands had minds of their own and were flying out in various directions.  Sheppard could never figure out why she kept it long if she never knew what to do with it.  At this point, there was a good chance she might just be keeping it that way out of spite.  “It’s just...  Well, frankly, it’s disgusting,” she finished, making another face.  
   
“Ladies!” Weir chided from the balcony above.  “Is it too much to ask for a little decorum?”  
   
“Yes, yes it is,” McKay replied, rolling her eyes.  In a half-whisper to the woman beside her, she added, “He’s just upset because Colonel Caldwell and the Daedalus are due and he’s finally ready to make his move.”  
   
Sheppard shook her head and pushed the scientist towards the hallway.  “At least the attitude’s the same, regardless of the gender,” she mused, remembering just how arrogant ‘Rodney’ McKay had been.  
   
“Huh?” Meredith asked, not having caught what was said.  
   
“Nothing,” Jill assured her.  At the doubting look she received, she tried to return to the topic at hand.  “Steph will shoot him down.  Trust me when I say he’s not her type.”  
   
McKay rolled her eyes again and activated the control for the transporter.  “Aren’t you just the little Mack Mommy?  I thought sleeping with your superior officers was forbidden.”  
   
Jillian scoffed and keyed their destination, waiting for the doors to close before saying, “There is nothing superior about Stephanie Caldwell.  There never was and there never will be.”  She wrapped her arms low on the other woman’s waist.  “Besides, you know I prefer scientists to Air Heads,” she said with a sly smile.  She leaned in and nuzzled the blonde-brown strands that had escaped from their confinement, nipping at an ear in the process.  
   
“Hmm, let’s try to keep it that way,” McKay hummed.  She gave her lover a quick peck on the cheek and stepped back from the embrace just as the door opened.  
   
Major Lorne stood just outside with ramrod perfect posture and a knowing smile.  “I saw nothing,” she assured them, stepping to the side so they could exit.  “I never do,” she said with a mock pout before disappearing into the device herself.  
   
Sheppard shook her head as McKay chuckled.  “I don’t know what her issue is, it’s not like the Gate Ministry outlaws relationships, or even same sex relationships.  Could you imagine them even trying to have a say in stuff like that?  They would end up cutting half their own ranks, if not more,” the scientist reasoned, remembering some of the little tidbits they had learned about the alternate universe they had just encountered.  
   
Jill smiled at the comment, knowing it for the truth.  The Ministry’s ruling body was pretty open-minded about most things.  The men and women chosen for leadership positions came from all walks of life and rarely judged anyone on personal issues, lest they offend one of their own.  As long as you didn’t fuck up the mission, get anyone killed, or cost them extravagant amounts of money, you could get away with quite a lot.  Saving the Earth and/or other major planetary allies on a regular basis also was a major plus in their books.  “I think it’s more to do with you technically being under my command than anything else,” she explained as they started walking.  “It’s that whole ‘preferential treatment’ thing and whether or not we’re influencing each other or simply covering each other’s asses.”  
   
Lieutenant Colonel Jillian Sheppard led both the main exploration team and the military aspects of the city.  She was the highest ranking officer there, with the exception of the few times Caldwell made an appearance, but even then she outranked her when it came to city functions based on their assigned duties.  The chain of command got loopy whenever Steph was around but, after a few false starts, they seemed to find a sort of middle ground that worked for them.  
   
“Whatever,” Mer brushed her off, very obviously avoiding any commentary on asses if the look on her face was anything to go by.  “Technically everyone but Weir is under your command.  That would mean either you get really friendly with Lionel, or you get really friendly with your hand and, frankly, I can think of much better things for those hands to be doing.”  
   
Jill could feel the blush reach the tips of her ears and hung her head as if her short-cropped strands could hide her embarrassment.  “McKay...” she warned, looking around nervously.  
   
“Please,” Mer kept going in her usual brusque manner, not bothering to wait for the other woman to follow.  “Half the base knows and the other half doesn’t care.”  
   
“Yeah, but I’d really like to not have any spare reasons laying around for why they could replace me, you know,” Sheppard pointed out, catching up to her lover.  In the past several years alone, she had managed to fuck up several missions, get two officers killed and more close to it, and cost them priceless Ancient equipment when it kind of accidentally got blown up saving her team.  She was also completely unrepentant about the whole thing, just wanting to make sure her team and the city were safe and sound.  She honestly had no idea if that made things better or worse with the Ministry but, then again, she really did not care as long as she got to stay here with the people and the city she loved.  
   
Meredith looked at her like she was a moron.  It was a familiar look.  “Okay, first, you have like the most powerful manifestation of the ATA gene ever except for maybe Jackie O’Neill’s, and there’s no way she’s leaving her cushy post to come here.  Second, Weir is actually a pretty decent supporter of yours, despite only having been given the post because the Ministry was talked into letting a civilian and a male lead the expedition for who knows what reason.  Third, most of the city would fight to the death at your orders and no one else’s.  And fourth, most of our allies here are only allies because they like you,” she ticked off on her fingers.  
   
“Are you done?” Jill sighed, turning new and interesting shades of red.   
   
McKay reached the door to her quarters and swiped them open.  “Not yet, but I could be if you found a way to shut me up,” she teased, pulling the officer towards her room by her belt loops.  
   
Her quarters were near the simulation labs and, unfortunately, her usual partner in crime Rala Zelenka happened to be buzzing by in a whirlwind of gadgets and frizzy hair at that exact moment, only to call out a good-natured, “Get a room!”  
   
Mer cheekily called back, “Already have one,” before closing and locking the door behind her.  
   
“You’re in a mood,” Jill commented, letting herself be backed towards the bed, now that she was the focus of her lover’s attention once more.  
   
McKay smirked as she pushed her another step back.  “Just want to make sure you appreciate what you have, that’s all.”  
   
Sheppard reached for her hand and pulled the other woman closer.  “And this has nothing at all to do with you staking your claim after ‘Rodney’ was eyeing me up all day?” she teased, releasing her only to wrap herself around her waist instead.  She steadfastly was not going to mention how “John” kept making eyes McKay as well, figuring it would only lead to pointing out him staring open-mouthed at her for a good fifteen seconds before an elbow to the ribs brought him back to his senses.  
   
“Of course not,” Mer protested.  She reached up and released the clasp on her barrette, tossing the clip onto a desk filled with laptops and notebooks.  A quick shake of her head had the strands cascading around her rounded face and Sheppard’s breath hitching just so.  No matter how many times she saw her, she couldn’t help but think Mer was beautiful.  The light coming in from the stained glass windows was capturing both curls and blue eyes alike, making her look otherworldly.  Jill bit back a grin as she realized the truth to her thoughts – they were on a planet in a distant galaxy from home.  If she didn’t look otherworldly, she would have far more to be concerned about.  
   
Ethereal or not, she was still the same devious, plotting bitch she knew and loved.  Using Jill’s distraction to her advantage, Mer pushed the soldier down to the mattress, crashing down on top of her when she was pulled along for the ride.  
   
“Ow,” Jill complained.  
   
“You did that to yourself,” Mer pointed out, nibbling at her neck.  “Kiss it and make it better?” she offered, putting action to words.  
   
“I wouldn’t object to that,” Sheppard responded in panted breaths.  She maneuvered her arms beneath the ones McKay had braced on either side of her head, quick hands finding their way beneath the soft synthetic material the scientist wore to draw random patterns on warm skin.  She kept her own mouth busy with tiny licks to the little spot under Mer’s ear that drove her crazy, slowly working her way up to meet her lover’s lips.  Certain she was thoroughly distracted, she flipped them over, straddling her to make sure she didn’t get any ideas.  
   
“Hey!” McKay protested.  Sheppard’s hands drew around to cup her through her sensible cotton bra.  “Hey...” she repeated, this time far from objecting.  
   
Jill removed her hands after a few pleasurable moments and ignored the pouting look she received for her efforts.  Instead, she slowly unzipped the blue spandex-like top the scientist wore, pushing it aside to reveal the treasures beneath.  She bent down and nipped and nuzzled the exposed skin, hands returning to their previous positions and never fully ceasing to move.  
   
It was her turn to pout when Mer pushed her slightly away, trying to still her hands.  “I have an idea,” the other woman promised.  She sat up as much as she could with Sheppard still straddling her and quickly pulled the remnants of her shirt off of her, reaching behind to undo the clasp of her bra.  
   
“Well, you are a genius,” Jill breathed, tossing the gathered fabric to the side, returning to her previous task unimpeded.  
   
“Nice of you to finally noti-ah!” Mer started, but trailed off into a gasp.  Finding her breath again, she commented, “Well, you always were a breast girl...”  
   
Jill paused in her suckling, mouth still full of nipple to ask, “Seriously, are you complaining?”  
   
Meredith shook her head frantically.  “No, not at all,” she insisted.  She grabbed a fistful of Sheppard’s short strands and pushed her head down closer to her target.  “I can feel you smirking,” McKay warned, her grip tightening slightly in warning before relaxing and releasing her.  Jill responded by grazing her teeth across the sensitive flesh before her, lifting her head before Mer could rip out a handful of hair.  
   
She ignored the yelping and deftly avoided the hands coming at her, holding them down gently with her own as she licked a swath down to her lover’s belly button.  She tongued it a few times before daring to go lower, only to get caught at an annoying waistband.  “Off,” she urged, pulling at it with her teeth.  
   
“I would, but I seem to have an Air Force officer in the way,” Mer teased, even as she was freeing her hands and popping the button on her pants open.  She paused and looked up with a raised eyebrow.  “A seriously overdressed Air Force officer, I may add.”  
   
Sheppard pushed herself up and away from the bed, making short work of her own clothing and returning to help McKay kick off her boots and socks and finish removing her trousers.  Fully naked, and having absolutely no shame, especially when it came to Jill, Mer spread herself out on the bed, saying with mock seduction, “Go on, have your wicked way with me.”  
   
Jill looked down at what was offered and licked her lips, loving the way it made Mer shiver and her pale eyes turn almost black.  “Oh, I will,” she assured her.  
   
Ever so slowly, she climbed back onto the bed, crawling up the length of Mer’s body, letting her hand trail along behind her, across an ankle, up a thigh tense with anticipation, and finally, just as she lowered her head to taste those beautiful lips, she let her fingertips brush the soft curls below.  Meredith moaned into her mouth, spreading her legs wider in blatant invitation.  She teased her mouth with her tongue as her fingers circled her folds, smiling as she never quite reached either goal.  
   
“Please?” Mer breathed, using her own hand to guide Jill closer.  
   
“Is this what you want?” Sheppard asked in mock innocence, pushing a single finger between the folds to edge nearer to her destination.  It was her turn to moan now, pressing her forehead to her lover’s and biting her lip at the wetness she found.  “For me?” she questioned, never quite believing how much the other woman swore she felt for her.  
   
McKay scoffed.  “It sure as hell isn’t for ‘John’,” she teased.  Angling her head to nibble on Jill’s lower jaw, she whispered, “Only for you.  Always for you.”  
   
Jill knew how rarely Mer made such declarations, and also knew how uncomfortable and vulnerable it usually made her feel.  She decided to distract her, asking, “So, is this kind of like how horny you get when your theory is proved right plus how horny you get when you get all possessive, combined?”  At Mer’s answering chuckle, she pushed her finger inside, reveling in the moist heat as she smiled and said, “Cool.”  
   
Mer laced a hand through Jillian’s short strands and pulled her in for a kiss.  Pulling back slightly, she shook her head.  “I love you, even if you are a bitch.”  
   
“Good to know,” Jill replied, diving down for another kiss as a second finger joined the first.  Her tongue moved in counterpoint to her fingers, thrusting, curling, swallowing the sounds of contentment her lover made.  She swiped it over her palate just as she found the soft spot inside that left Mer gasping.  “Right there?” she teased.  
   
“Oh, hell yes,” Mer replied, pulling her in for another bruising kiss.  
   
She backed away from that wonderful mouth reluctantly, feeling the telltale tightening beginning and deciding to play dirty.  She shifted her weight to her knees, using her free hand to cup one of Meredith’s generous breasts as she lowered her head to its new task.  As she laved at the nipple and caused her lover to produce new and interesting sounds, she realized her new position had also inadvertently made her vulnerable as a trembling hand found its way between her thighs.  
   
Mer pulled no punches, her fingers quickly finding their target and beginning a devastating rhythm against the cluster of very sensitive nerves.  Never to be outdone, Jill pushed in a third finger and let her thumb press against McKay’s clit with every thrust of her hand.  Her concentration was shit, but she apparently still knew what she was doing if the noises and bucking against her were anything to go by.  
   
It was McKay’s orgasm that pushed her over the edge.  The tightening of muscles, the rush of liquid and the breathy moans sending her higher than she thought was possible.  She was flying, she was sailing with that feeling of soaring through the air and knowing you’re not going to crash because this was just too damn awesome to stop.  
   
She realized that her eyes had squeezed shut and she forced them open, forced them to meet the pale blue staring back at her in awe.  In them, she saw her own reflection, found a piece of herself that she never knew she was missing until she found it again.  It was a love tangible and real and told her more than anything else just where she belonged.  
   
~~~~~~~~~~  
   
Three realities over to the left, a completely different McKay and Sheppard were stepping through a wormhole once more.  They had finished their calibrations, tweaked what needed tweaking and, after sending through a test subject of an unsuspecting PDA, proved it was safe enough to return home.  
   
“That was certainly odd,” Rodney said, barely through the event horizon and already dropping off his heavy pack.  
   
“Alternate universes usually are,” John shrugged.  He unclipped his weapon and waved at the waiting Elizabeth as he headed for the hallway.  They had already given her abbreviated updates through the initial connection, and would wait to give the full blow by blow at the debriefing.  
   
McKay was not buying the flippant attitude, waving an annoyed hand.  “I’ve heard about alternate universes, read about them from the people who actually experienced them, but this... this surpasses everything.”  
   
“What?  You just can’t stand the thought of you with breasts, and decent sized ones too, can you?” the colonel could not resist the jab, smiling at the look of outrage it produced.  
   
While his companion sputtered, their leader chided them, “Gentlemen, is it too much to ask for a little decorum?”  She shook her head knowing that, regardless of whatever they had discovered during their little adventure, it was clear that some things never changed.  
   
   
End.  
  


End file.
